Right, alright, ahem and all that. So yes, it does appear I have trust issues. As in, I'll never fall in love again type no way, no how will I trust another human being enough... so sad if that is true but I will never really know unless I try and therein we find the rub, whatever that is... is it because I do not let anyone close enough to even try trusting again or is it that nobody wants to come near me anymore (bad vibs stink in so many ways). Occasionally, when I get deeply into sleep (and sadly, that is only occasionally), I wake unsettled remembering a very unpleasant dream about someone betraying me, then laughing. It is usually quite generic, but very specific in the the relatively meaningless (of course nothing is meaningless, but then, as Metallica almost said, nothing really matters, or else, right... you had to be there) details. Trust given, trust betrayed. Then, the abandonment issue.
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